I like rumors. I find out so much about me that I didn't even know!
ANONYMOUS
Don't lend money to friends -- it causes amnesia.
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Anyone who takes the time to be kind is beautiful.
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A river cuts through rock, not because of its power, but because of its persistence.
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Life has never given me lemons. It has given me anger issues, anxiety, a love for alcohol and a serious dislike for stupid people. But not lemons.
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Hockey is figure skating in a war zone.
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A teenager is someone who is well prepared for a zombie attack but not ready for tomorrow's math test.
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Have patience. Everything is difficult before it is easy.
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Dear sleep, I know we had problems when I was younger ... but I love you now.
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Sometimes when you think the storm is coming to rain on your parade, it's actually there to water your garden.
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All you need is love. And a tiara. And maybe a cookie.
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If hindsight of some women was as good as their foresight, they wouldn't be wearing slacks.
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During sex it's perfectly fine to say "YEAH", "YES", and "OH YES", but how awkward would it be if someone kept screaming "YEP"?
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Retirement: World's longest coffee break.
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If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.
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Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
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Counting other people's sins does not make you a saint.
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Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.
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My alarm tells me you're in my house. My gun tells me not for long.
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Morning sex: proven to be more effective than coffee.
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