A teenager is someone who is well prepared for a zombie attack but not ready for tomorrow's math test.
ANONYMOUS
I'm not addicted to reading. I can quit as soon as I finish the next chapter.
ANONYMOUS
Hockey is figure skating in a war zone.
ANONYMOUS
During sex it's perfectly fine to say "YEAH", "YES", and "OH YES", but how awkward would it be if someone kept screaming "YEP"?
ANONYMOUS
A river cuts through rock, not because of its power, but because of its persistence.
ANONYMOUS
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
ANONYMOUS
Is "UGH" an emotion? Because I feel it all the time.
ANONYMOUS
I like rumors. I find out so much about me that I didn't even know!
ANONYMOUS
Counting other people's sins does not make you a saint.
ANONYMOUS
Sometimes when you think the storm is coming to rain on your parade, it's actually there to water your garden.
ANONYMOUS
Morning sex: proven to be more effective than coffee.
ANONYMOUS
If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.
ANONYMOUS
Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.
ANONYMOUS
All you need is love. And a tiara. And maybe a cookie.
ANONYMOUS
My only hobby is laziness, which naturally rules out all others.
ANONYMOUS
Don't lend money to friends -- it causes amnesia.
ANONYMOUS
Dear sleep, I know we had problems when I was younger ... but I love you now.
ANONYMOUS
You'll never find a rainbow if you're staring at your feet.
ANONYMOUS
Have patience. Everything is difficult before it is easy.
ANONYMOUS
Your body is a temple, but how long can you live in the same house before you redecorate.
ANONYMOUS