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In high school, when I played football I got no respect. I shared a locker with a mop.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD, It's Not Easy Bein' Me
Beauty is Nature in perfection; circularity is its chief attribute. Behold the full moon, the enchanting golf ball, the domes of splendid temples, the huckleberry pie, the wedding ring, the circus ring, the ring for the waiter, and the "round" of drinks.
O. HENRY, "Squaring the Circle"
To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.
OSCAR WILDE, The Picture of Dorian Gray
Any other town you go to there's this little devil and a little angel on your shoulder. A little good advice, a little bad advice.You go to Las Vegas, there's like a devil and a devil and they're just battling it out the whole time. It's like, "Smoke some crack!" "Get a hooker!" And then I go, "YEA! Yea, this is a good town. Smoke some crack and get a hooker! Alright!"
BILLY BURR, stand-up routine
Between two evils, I always like to take the one I've never tried before.
Don't blame yourself. The apocalypse wasn't your fault. Actually, it was just as much your fault as it was anyone else's. Come to think of it, if you're an American, it was probably about 80-90 percent more your fault than the average human. But don't let that get you down. It wasn't exclusively your fault. Unless you're the president. Then it might be your fault. But you'll have plenty of interns to tell you that it wasn't, so you'll be fine.
MEGHANN MARCO, Field Guide to the Apocalypse
Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.
BILL COSBY, The Joplin Globe, Apr. 7, 2007
Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, "No, thank you" to dessert that night. And for what?!
ERMA BOMBECK, Woman's Day Magazine, Nov. 13, 2007
My hair is always at its best in New York. I don't know what's in the water. It could be mousse.
ELLEN DEGENERES, TV Guide, Nov. 21-27, 2005
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