New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.
DAVID LETTERMAN, Late Show with David Letterman, Feb. 9, 1984
Republicans are having trouble luring Gov. Chris Christie into the presidential race. They should try pie.
DAVID LETTERMAN, Late Show with David Letterman, Sep. 27, 2011
I love autumn in New York City: The yellows, the browns, and the rust — and that’s just the drinking water.... Here in New York City, the leaves turn — and run.
DAVID LETTERMAN, Late Show with David Letterman, Sep. 7, 2011
New York City subways are now getting high speed Internet. How about some high speed subway trains?
DAVID LETTERMAN, Late Show with David Letterman, Jul. 27, 2011
A woman in Buffalo set a new world record for eating 183 buffalo wings. I don’t think there will be a second date.
DAVID LETTERMAN, Late Show with David Letterman, Sep. 6, 2011
According to a new survey, people who get divorced die early. People who stay married live longer. The difference is they just wish they were dead.
DAVID LETTERMAN, Late Show with David Letterman, Jan. 11, 2012
Gays are now allowed to serve openly in the military. So maybe our next war could be a musical.
DAVID LETTERMAN, Late Show with David Letterman, Sep. 21, 2011
In New York, we're out of road salt. So for the next big storm they have to use parmesan cheese.
DAVID LETTERMAN, Late Show with David Letterman, Oct. 31, 2011
I like Halloween. It gives you a chance to dress up like something you're not, you know? Like when the Miami Dolphins put on football uniforms.
DAVID LETTERMAN, Late Show with David Letterman, Nov. 1, 2011
Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That's for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve.
DAVID LETTERMAN, Late Show with David Letterman, Oct. 31, 2011
The candidates at the Republican debate looked like a town council that was outlawing dancing. They looked like a board of directors that was lying about poisoning a river.... I tried to TiVo the debate and my TiVo fell asleep.
DAVID LETTERMAN, Late Show with David Letterman, Sep. 8, 2011
Herman Cain was unaware that China is a nuclear power. And I said to myself, “Hey, Herman, how about making an unwanted advance on a history book?”
DAVID LETTERMAN, Late Show with David Letterman, Nov. 4, 2011
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.
DAVID LETTERMAN, The Late Show with David Letterman
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