I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
W.C. FIELDS, The Saturday Review, Jan. 28, 1967
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
W.C. FIELDS, The Mammoth Book of Zingers, Quips & One-Liners
If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
