American comedian (1894-1956)
A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.
FRED ALLEN
attributed, The Concise Columbia Dictionary of Quotations
Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.
FRED ALLEN
attributed, A Speaker's Treasury
I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help on the way home every night. Things are so tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines.
FRED ALLEN
Much Ado About Me
A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
FRED ALLEN
attributed, New York Magazine, Mar. 21, 1994
I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.
FRED ALLEN
attributed, The Mammoth Book of Comic Quotes
Television is the triumph of machine over people.
FRED ALLEN
attributed, Make 'Em Laugh: The Funny Business of America