THE SIMPSONS QUOTES

quotations from The Simpsons

All right, brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.

HOMER, The Simpsons

4 likes

Tags: beer


Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos!

HOMER, The Simpsons

3 likes

Tags: vampires


What if you pretended that this couch were a bar? Then you could spend more nights at home with us. Huh?

MARGE, "Fear of Flying", The Simpsons

3 likes

Tags: alcoholism


Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.

HOMER, "How I Spent My Strummer Vacation", The Simpsons

3 likes

Tags: marriage


Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone.

MARGE, The Simpsons

3 likes

Tags: differences


Now we play the waiting game. [long pause] Ah, the waiting game sucks. Let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos!

HOMER, "Mr. Plow", The Simpsons

2 likes

Tags: waiting


Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

HOMER, The Simpsons

2 likes

Tags: failure


Well, family, we should be proud. We took on corporate America and broke even.

HOMER, "Super Franchise Me", The Simpsons

2 likes

Tags: corporations


You know, the courts may not be working any more, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else, justice will be done.

MARGE, The Simpsons

1 likes

Tags: justice


There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson.

BART, The Simpsons

1 likes

Tags: souls


There's no justice like angry-mob justice.

PRINCIPAL SKINNER, The Simpsons

1 likes

Tags: justice


Don't worry. Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep ... in a giant blender.

HOMER, The Simpsons

1 likes


Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!

HOMER, The Simpsons

1 likes

Tags: facts


Son, I know this seems like the biggest disappointment of your life, but trust me, there are going to be so many more. What you've got to remember is... Oh my God, 13 men in the field! Review it, review it, review it! Yes!! Play stands!

HOMER, "How Lisa Got Her Marge Back", The Simpsons

1 likes

Tags: disappointment


I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows!

BART, The Simpsons

0 likes


If cartoons were meant for adults, they'd put them on in prime time.

LISA, The Simpsons

0 likes


You know, when I was a girl, I always dreamed of being in a Broadway audience.

MARGE, The Simpsons

0 likes


Non-violence never solved anything!

MR. BURNS, The Simpsons

0 likes

Tags: violence


Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

HOMER, The Simpsons

0 likes

Tags: television


You gotta be pretty desperate to make it with a robot.

HOMER, The Simpsons

0 likes

Tags: robots