American author (1842-1914)
A rabbit's foot may bring good luck to you, but it brought none to the rabbit.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Snow pursued by the wind is not wholly unlike a retreating army. In the open field it ranges itself in ranks and battalions; where it can get a foothold it makes a stand; where it can take cover it does so. You may see whole platoons of snow cowering behind a bit of broken wall.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"The Night-Doings at Deadman's"
For nearly all that is good in our American civilization we are indebted to the Old World; the errors and mischiefs are of our own creation.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A Cynic Looks at Life
The question of human immortality is the most momentous that the mind is capable of conceiving. If it is a fact that the dead live all other facts are in comparison trivial and without interest. The prospect of obtaining certain knowledge with regard to this stupendous matter is not encouraging. In all countries but those in barbarism the powers of the profoundest and most penetrating intelligences have been ceaselessly addressed to the task of glimpsing a life beyond this life; yet today no one can truly say that he knows. It is as much a matter of faith as ever it was.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A Cynic Looks at Life
Patriotism is fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave and blind as a stone.
AMBROSE BIERCE
A Cynic Looks at Life
He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
SAINT, n. A dead sinner, revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary
What a woman most admires in a man is distinction among men. What a man most admires in a woman is devotion to himself.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"The Moonlit Road"
A cheap and easy cynicism rails at everything. The master of the art accomplishes the formidable task of discrimination.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
BATTLE, n. A method of untying with the teeth of a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary
AMBIDEXTROUS, adj. Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary
APOLOGIZE, v.i. To lay the foundation for a future offense.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary
Truth is more deceptive than falsehood, for it is more frequently presented by those from whom we do not expect it, and so has against it a numerical presumption.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
CHRISTIAN, n. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary
The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
Youth looks forward, for nothing is behind! Age backward, for nothing is before.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
If every hypocrite in the United States were to break his leg to-day the country could be successfully invaded to-morrow by the warlike hypocrites of Canada.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"
In the last analysis, ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.
AMBROSE BIERCE
The Devil's Dictionary
Slang is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage carts on their way to the dumps.
AMBROSE BIERCE
"Epigrams of a Cynic"